OK .....1 week update

OK, so week 1 is done, and I must admit I do feel a difference. The snacking in between meals has stopped completely, and the urge to eat even when I know I am not hungry has also ceased. I don't see or feel a remarkable difference in my weight, but my energy level is through the roof right now. The pictures below are taken in the same dress as last week, and once again without the help of a girdle, it's just me letting it all hang out :-)

I do see a slight difference between this week's pictures and last week's pictures, it isn't a HUGE difference, but it is slightly noticeable.

I must say, all the water I am drinking due to the cotton mouth effect of the pills has my skin glowing. I am not wearing any makeup, but my skin tone has evened out, usually it is pretty blotchy and irritated.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said........



257.5

Day 2

So, just to update I have peeing like WHOA....and I have to force myself to eat. These pills take away any hunger signals your brain may be giving to your stomach. I am still eating my meals, but since I sense no hunger I just eat enough to know that I am giving my body the nutrition it needs. The good thing about it is that I have no feeling to snack in between meals. That is my weakness....I must admit, I like the gratification of eating after you feel your stomach growl, it gives me a certain pleasure to satisfy the beast within....I can live without that if it means I am living with fewer pounds on my body, but still :-/

Anyways, it is FRIDAY!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! I am soooo glad to see the weekend here! Hope everyone has a great weekend, especially my Beautiful Best Friend!!!!

xoxoxox,
Clarissa

Herbal Slimming Pills 7 day trial......Looking for a miracle, too lazy to exercise....

Ok my friends, so we all know I am trying my damnedest to lose weight, and my coworker is losing weight like CRAZY by taking these pills called Herbal Slimming....I decided to use the 7 days worth she gave me to try and post if there is any noticeable difference in 7 days the way others claim there is. As of today I weigh in at 263, and this dress is a size 18. I am not wearing any girdles in these pictures, this is me, flab and all!

BTW....I am not too lazy to exercise, but I do need that metabolism boost since mine is pretty much in hibernation year round....:-) I still can't exercise beyond walking of course because my incision is not fully healed yet. Soooooooooo, until I can hit the exercise routing hard like I want to, I need a supplement to help me progress towards what the biggest Loser contestants dubbed as Onederland!!!!

Day 1: Took one pill about 30 minutes after breakfast as per instructions. Breakfast was fruit, a mixture of grapes, strawberries, and watermelon. As lunchtime rolled around I am not feeling hungry at all. I don't feel full, I just don't have any inclination towards food and usually my stomach is GROWLING by this time of day. I did go ahead and get lunch though because it specifically says DO NOT SKIP ANY MEALS....I haven't been doing any incessant snacking, and that is my weakness, so I personally feel so far so good...

Tantrum Thursday

It's that time...the week is almost over but you can't take it anymore. Come one get it off your chest..you'll feel much better!

Me:I can’t stand office whisperers. Let me clarify this…I can’t stand office whisperers that are in the cube right next to me. Now for the closest people next to me you know that I am a VERY nosey person. It’s who I am and I’m proud of it. But when people are in the cube next to me whispering I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. They need to stop already. Don’t they know they are giving me a headache cause I’m straining so hard to listen! If I was in Harry Potter Land then I would bust out my extendable ear on those biyatches! (that was for all my nerds out there)

C:My Tantrum is the stupid people who think they can cut you off to get into the fast lane in the highway and then they reduce their speed to about 60 making you brake because you are already going 80 like a bat out of hell because you are running late for work, and these people wonder how accidents happen....

oh, and the old lady who lives in the apartment under my mother in law......This lady called the cops on my children because they were too loud....Cmon lady, it is 2pm in the afternoon, and the kids are playing on the balcony...they are 4 and 5 years old for God's Sake, how can that possible be a noise violation, GET A LIFE!!!

Insightful Ramblings of the BFF Kind-Club Dress

C: I want to go buy one of those club dresses, that is going to be my reward if I get down to around 230 before you get back here again :-) I need to go out with someone who doesn't care what people think and will dance with me, and that person my friend is you, and the crwod there is more our age, no little 19 year old hoochies and thugs

Me: Yea!!!! I can’t wait! I want a club dress too…what do these club dresses look like lol?

C: Like hoochie dresses lol, j/k, I don't know, girls were just wearing dresses that were all fitted and they looked pretty and I want one

Me: Lol ok…it’s been a loooooooong time since I’ve been to a club

So is this the club dress....cause I got a lot of weight to lose before I half way look good in this lol:) And also does this make me and the bestie automatically like Jersey Shore?! FIST PUMPIN BABY!

I am but a Cow and work is my Pasture....

So, ordinarily I would have run this theory by the Bestie before sharing it with ANYONE else, but she is in a wonderful world called VACATION....say it with me "LUCKYYYY!!! (breathy tone)"

So, I just came back to work from Maternity Leave...and don't say lucky in that breathy tone, this leave was HELL! Anyways, I started looking around at the cubicles and saw everyone munching constantly all day while working. I started imagining a pasture full of cows with nothing to do but munch and gain weight to profit their owners...Isn't that what we are doing...sitting in our Pasture (workplace), eating whether it is out of stress, boredom, or just plain hunger. Eventually we become enslaved to our desk, we don't want to leave it. We don't get up to take a brisk walk during breaktime, or even a brief walk to stretch our legs after sitting all day. Then we start fighting over the closer parking spaces because we don't want to walk more than a few steps to get to our desk. Since our job only requires us to sit at our desk and produce work we are more than happy to do so and we profit our employer...just saying, perhaps i am wrong...but what if...WHAT IF...my theory is true?? Why else do our employers provide us with vending machines full of fattening sweets? Why else do we get rewarded with food for work well done, Why not gift cards, or bonuses??



Well, that was my personal tantrum for our long neglected tantrum Thursday :-) and I Miss You Bestie, hope you are living up in Vacationland!!

I'm BAAAAAACCCKKKKK!!!!!

OK, so my watermelon baby was born April 14, 2011 and he was 9lbs 10oz and 20.5 inches long. He is a BEAUTIFUL baby, and of course you already know this because tha'ts how me and the Bestie do it when we make babies, we put a lot of fabulous into them :-)

So, I was supposed to keep posting about how the weight was going...well, the day I went into the hospital for the c-section I weighed 300lbs...not funny friends...all I could say was "WHOA!" Today i weighed myself and the scale said.........drumroll.........

257!!!!!

I will keep posting weekly with any progress I make, or any setbacks that occur!

Today Your Two

**This is a poem I found. I can't take credit for writing it but I really loved it.

To My Son
© Sarah Flores
My baby, my son, my precious prince
Sent straight from Heaven and loved ever since
A gift from God to handle with care
A heart of gold for you to share
A smile so big with such happiness and joy
The pride I have, to have such a good little boy.
On this birthday you turn two
I hold my head high to be strong for you
To love someone so much, I never knew I could
The things I do for you, for no one else I would
It feels so good to hold you, Just for a second though
Because you scramble down fast and off you go
I wish I could be with you every second of the day
but I can't be selfish, things just can't go my way
I wish I could protect you from anyone hurting your golden little heart
So many things I want to tell you but don't know where to start
People will tell you a lot of things son and only some of them will be true
Which ones you want to believe my boy I hope you're smart enough to choose
It's a mean world out there someone told me life is all about the fight
So I'm going to do my best to make you strong my son
So you can choose wrong from right
I know it seems I'm going on and on
but these things I just don't want you to forget
Life is full of lessons baby never hold any regrets
I Love You Michael


Source: To My Son, Mother Son Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=21075#ixzz1MKf10HEz
Family Friend Poems

Where did we go??

My bestie and I are such slackers! Sorry for not posting anything in like 2 weeks. I really don't have much to say this morning other than the "Drive Thru Man" was good to my breakfast taco. Thank you "Drive Thru Man"!

Ok, so you see this picture and you think "awwww!!!!! Baby Watermelon gives his mama that pretty pregnancy glow, and she even has time to make her hair the hotness and put makeup on...pregnancy isn't all that horrible and miserable...."

So that was taken at the beautiful part of prgnancy, when I was a mere 29 weeks pregnant with Baby Watermelon.....

Enter the THIRD TRIMESTER (all caps for dramatic effect)...........

Now at 32 weeks pregnant and into the glorious 3rd Trimester the Host of the glorious parasite known as Baby Watermelon is tired.....she is pale...Where did the Glow go????? Can anyone besides me see that my hips spread like Whoa? I'm a big girl, and my belly button recently became an outie.....that is quite a feat considering I have plenty of extra flab for this baby to stretch.....So thankfully i have only gained 10 lbs from the start of this pregnancy to the present. I have 7 weeks to go. My pledge to myself, and I am doing this on the interwebs to hold myself accountable, is to not only lose the weight I gained from the pregnancy, but in the 8 weeks it takes to recover I want to lose an additional 20 lbs. Everyweek I see the Dr and I will post my weight for the world to see...once I have Baby Watermelon I will weigh in once a week so you know I am not cheating when I come back to work. This week's number is..............

293

Yikes! Next Tuesday I will post again, lets see how much Baby Watermelon helps his Mama gain by then :-)

Update on Watermelon Baby

OK, so this is not my kid, but it was wayyyyyyyyy too cute to not post!! So Erick...aka...Watermelon Baby, as named by my bestie Elizabeth, is a whopping 6 1/2 lbs at the ripe old gestational age of 31 weeks and 4 days! The verdict...well, since I don't have to push this bountiful baby boy out of the Vag the Dr thinks she will go ahead and let him bake for another 7 weeks. This should be interesting seeing as how mama can not sleep, breathe, drive, or relieve herself of her bodily fluids as easily as she normally could. Dr says Mama's Misery = Happy Healthy Child....sacrifices we make for our children begin in the womb....::sigh::

Sleeping In...Can you speak English please?!

Put the kid to bed by 7:30-8 rush around getting stuff done you can't get done while the little monster is awake! You're lucky if you get to bed by 11. But you think, "Hey! It's Friday. No big deal I can stay up late cause tomorrow is Saturday and it's sleep in (insert foreign language here) day.". THINK AGAIN! That little monster (that you love so much and you really don't think is a monster but your tired and cranky) wakes up at 6:45 ready to go!!!! All I have to say is...SCREW ALL YOU NON-PARENTS WHO GET TO SLEEP IN ON THE WEEKEND!

Dear Workday On The Wrong Day

I think you got confused. Workdays are Monday - Friday (Friday is still in discussion). I don't appreciate you messing up the workday calendar. You are messing things up by spilling over to the weekend. I can not survive with one day off from you. Please get your shit together.

Thank you.

I Am a Domestic Goddess!

So, lately I have been feeling as if my world was like this:

But now that I have my new vacumm cleaner I have joined the world of Domestic Bliss! I can vacumm up all the mess that my kids manage to track around my apartment and still have time to.......

That's right ladies...having a vacumm gives you time to tend to your more meaningful tasks that make your hubby happy! Yep, they had a GREAT sense of humor in the 1950's! On a serious note though I did in fact get a vacumm FINALLY!!! No more sweeping the carpet for this Wifey!

P.S

Hope everyone had a Fantastic weekend!

WHYYYY?

Please someone tell me why it's the end of the world for like 10mins when it is time to go down for a nap....

But when you go and check on them they are sleeping like they had a party and it was so good that they just passed out right in the middle of it...

And then they wake up and it was all worth it:)...

Random Question....

If a person in America buys a laptop and one gets donated to a needy child in Africa...then when someone in Africa buys a laptop does one get donated to a needy child in America? Just Saying....

Yippie Skippie!

All I have to say is.....

IT'S FRIDAY!!!

This is a Post about Regurgitation....BEWARE

My son said he was sick to his stomach, and boy was he right. I'm sitting here trying to mess with this lovely blog, and my son turns into friggin Linda Blair! You know that scene from Scary Movie 2 where there are just fountains of vom spewing from each of the characters mouths??? That was almost my son and I this evening. I had to force myself not to vom, and believe me, he was projectiling...

***Lesson of the day: When little boy says his stomach hurts, don't troubleshoot, go straight to the bathroom, it's coming out of one end or the other. It is always to better to be safe than to have to clean up Vom :-/

First Follower AWARD!

The first award goes to LaBrett Homuth for being our "First Follower!"

Insightful Ramblings of the BFF Kind.... You Skinny B!

Me: How are you feeling?

C: Much better....no regular contractions thank the LORD!!! Now I feel stuffed because I ate a whole orange and a cereal bar to get my sugars back up...:-)


Me: Lol…you sound like one of those skinny b’s…”I’m soooo stuffed I just ate one popcorn” LOL ok not that bad


C: LMAO...Girl I ATE...I ate a Healthy Choice Steamer Chicken Teryaki, and an Orange, and a cereal bar, and a Diet Dr Pepper,.....I wish I could get full off a sip of water, then maybe I would be a size 10 and not a size 22 lol

Me: Lol you never mentioned the healthy choice it just sounded so funny! “Now I feel stuffed because I ate a whole orange and a cereal bar to get my sugars back up...:-)” Hehehe I was jealous I want to eat one orange and a cereal bar and feel stuffed!

C: lol...now don't feel jealous, I also had the Healthy Choice Steamer ;-) It was teryaki Chicken with Rice and Veggies, and sooooooo good I wanted more!

Me: Hehehe…everytime I have one of those I want to get everything little piece of rice and sauce…it’s sooo yummy!

C: OMG...I thought I was the only person, I started with a fork, and ended with a spoon so I got every last grain..haha

ok so i haven't read this book but the picture is perfect!

One woman's trash is NOT another woman's treasure...

OK....this is to my fellow women. Why is our bathroom so disgusting? It is a man's job to be disgusting not ours. The women's bathroom affords us many accomodations for our monthly paraphanelia...USE THEM! A courtesy flush goes a looooooooooonnnnnnggggggg way, especially when you have a bowl full of the red stuff....and no ladies I am not talking about fruit punch. There are trashcans designed to throw your used paper towls in once you use them to dry your hands...USE THEM! Is it necessary for the space around the sinks to resemble a swampland so when you go to wash your hands your almost 8 month preggy belly gets wet when you brush against the counter?????? I would hate to see the bathrooms in some of your homes if this is how you treat the ones in your own workplace. Just Saying....

Dear John

Dear Breakfast Drive Thru Man,

I know you hate your job but please don't take your aggression out on my tacos.

Thank you.

This bottle represents my daily water intake as recommended by my OB/Gyn while I am pregnant. Because this bottle does NOT have a straw it take me about a week to finish. So I have come to the conclusion that if this bottle came with a straw I would gladly gulp it down within the 8 hours I am here at work. Maybe I should petition to Ozarka....I know they have the sport cap bottles, but I even think those are kinda gross and still would prefer a straw....


This guy has the Right Idea!!

****Update: at approximately 4:49pm (give or take a few seconds) on 2/16/2011....I did indeed finish the bottle of OZARKA! It was a tremendous feat, and I managed to do so without the aid of a straw....I DO NOT recommend it, a straw is definitely the way to go :-) ****

You suck

One of the MANY crazy email conversations between Clarissa and I:

Me:I know this is sooo weird but I drink more water if I use a straw compared to if I drink it straight for the glass/bottle. For example…I can drink like 3 or 4 glasses or water if I drink it with a straw but if I don’t I’ll only get through maybe one glass. CRAZY!!!!

Clarissa:I think because a straw caters to our laziness allowing us to drink more without actually exerting any effort. I do the same thing. i have a huge bottle of water that I can barely get through, but if I use my cup with the straw I drink it like WHOA!

Me:BAHAHAHAHA….WE ARE LAZY A** DRINKERS!

Clarissa: YEP!!! I admit it, My Name is Clarissa...i am so lazy in order to get my full fill of water I need to have a Straw!

Me: Hi Clarissa!

Clarissa: Would anyone else like to share their Lazy moments in drinking?

Me: Hi my name is Elizabeth and I won’t drink a full glass of anything without a straw and I refuse to drink from a restaurant glass without a straw.

Clarissa:I also can not take even a sip from a restaurant glass without a strw...oh, and I can't stand plastic cups from restaurants either...they make me want to vom.....Oh, and I am a compulsive interrupter...:-/

Me: I’m sorry put the interrupter class is 2 doors down. This is strictly for straw users.

Clariisa: I prefer to multi-task, so I will talk about my straw use while I compulsively interrupt and then remind myself to not interrupt, besides I can never talk in that class...they keep interrupting me..:-/